On Wednesday, the highest court in the nation decided the Clinton-era Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was unconstitutional.  The same day, they sent California’s Proposition 8 back to the lower court. The result? A minority of Americans will now enjoy basic rights with a partner of their choosing without being unjustly double-taxed. Most Americans’ lives… Continue reading →

We are all celebrities now. Ever since we won Time Magazine’s Person of the Year in 2006, the same year we first found out about the National Security Administration spying on us, we’ve all become essentially public figures. It’s the new equality: We are all stars! “Private citizen” is now akin to “paid volunteer”””a contradiction…. Continue reading →

I attended a tea party event hosted by Congresswoman Michele Bachmann the day before the Republican National Convention in Florida last year. I observed the following: Wearing a tri-corner hat in proximity to the Caribbean makes you look like a pirate. Which pretty much sums up the tea party crowd: historically inaccurate, attached to the… Continue reading →

Investigators say due to some creative Ireland-based tax gimmicks, Apple has managed to keep $75 billion away from the IRS’s reach just in the years 2009-2012. Even Senator John McCain conceded, “Apple claims to be the largest U.S. corporate taxpayer, but by sheer size and scale, it is also among America’s largest tax avoiders.” Apple… Continue reading →

In the now-infamous “47 Percent” video secretly captured during a Mitt Romney fundraising speech, the GOP hopeful gleefully mentioned Jimmy Carter’s Iran Hostage Crisis moment and admitted, “By the way, if something of that nature presents itself, I will work to find a way to take advantage of the opportunity.” On September 11, 2012, he… Continue reading →

Donald Trump thinks it’s a no-brainer that so many American servicewomen are raped by their fellow soldiers. This week when the increase in these crimes is the subject of a Senate hearing, Trump tweeted: “26,000 unreported sexual assults (sic) in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women… Continue reading →

If the Tsarnaev brothers””the duo behind the Boston Marathon bombing””set off two of their pressure cooker bombs every day, in a year’s time they’d amass 1,095 victims (providing they killed the same number of people each day). The total would jump to 1,098 if it happened to be a leap year. There are an average… Continue reading →

My working theory””you could call it a philosophy, or a freestanding reason of how the world works””is what I call the Theory of Relative Laziness. It goes like this: Never attribute anything to conspiracy, coordination or planning when laziness could explain it. Call it Occam’s Armchair. While perusing the weirder corners of the Internet the… Continue reading →

The Women’s Medical Society in West Philadelphia, Pennsylvania run by Dr. Kermit Gosnell was one of the few places in the state to provide late-term abortions. From witness accounts the clinic smelled of cat urine. There was a free-roaming, flea-infested feline that reportedly defecated all over the medical facility. The clinic, described in the grand… Continue reading →

I was raised as a creationist. I’d come home from school with a brain full of evolution and an enthusiasm for T-Rex and my mother saw it as her mission to put an end to it. To counter my indoctrination she’d say, “Dinosaurs and people were alive at the same time.” The world, she explained,… Continue reading →

Since incumbent Republicans are in favor of gay marriage it’s clear””gays are out. Recently Senator Rob Portman (R-Ohio) and Senator Mark Kirk (R-Illinois) have endorsed marriage equality. LGBTs are no longer that group Republicans can win elections by promising to keep them away from us. The GOP swore to protect marriage and on their watch… Continue reading →

A colleague of mine quipped the other day that the only religion he believes in is his own. “Sure,” I countered. “You piously believe in your own opinion.” Which pretty much sums up every debate I’ve ever had on religion. Liberals will tell you Jesus was a Middle Eastern Jewish hippie who hated money and… Continue reading →

Why haven’t these clever secularists tried to take over Easter just like they’ve allegedly hijacked Christmas? What’s taking them so long? Bill O’Reilly deciphered the secret scheme to de-Christian Christmas. On his Christmastime program last year he said, “I absolutely agree 100 percent that the diminishment of Christianity is the target and Christmas is the… Continue reading →

I’ve been assured my in-laws don’t read my column. However, because of their mix of shame, guilt and blame, I’ll be vague on some details. They’ve fallen on hard times. No one wants to talk about it, let alone have it written about and syndicated. But I think their story is illustrative: My in-laws live… Continue reading →