I was at a comedy club one night with my friend who is also a female comic. We were hanging out at the bar when a guy approached us both and asked, “Hey, why are female comics all so butch?”

To which I said, “Why are female firefighters so butch? Because you want them to be – believe me.” At least that is what I would have liked to have said.

Instead it threw me into a panic and I immediately thought that in all the hubbub of worrying about being funny, I had forgotten to worry about being too butch! That and my imperfect mid-section were now moved to the top of my queue of reasons to feel bad about myself.

What actually happened is I said what I say every time someone brings up “women” and “funny” in the same sentence. I say, “Kathleen Madigan is funny.” And that usually ends it. This time I said, “Kathleen Madigan is femmy.”

Bigger ashtrays.