Confessions of a Junkie

I’ve been a political junkie since I was 15 years old. I was seduced by newspapers that were unthinkingly made available to my impressionable young mind. I read things, formed an opinion on them and then I was hooked. It quickly progressed. Soon I was reading books. Then I got an internship at a congressman’s office. By my senior year of high school, I was a full-blown addict.

This is an easy way to ostracize yourself from society. The saying is not to talk about politics or religion? Politics was my religion. What else could I talk about? The weather? Sports? Celebrity gossip? Cooking? Knitting? Ick. Soon my circle of friends became smaller and smaller. I was sinking deeper into the depths of my addiction.

Yesterday, I spent 10 hours, yes 10 hours flipping back and forth between CNN and MSNBC and closely watching the CSPAN website. I had a fellow junkie give me the early exit poll data – nice fix – but I soon needed more! If I had to leave the room, I would hit pause on my TiVo as to not miss a single pundit or state update. I have a deadline. I have dogs that needed to be walked. I couldn’t stop myself. I fell asleep on the couch at midnight, only to wake up at 3am to check and see what happened with Ohio.

I’ve hit rock bottom. The addiction is insidious, subtle and a slow indoctrination. One day you wake up and you’re alone with your political blog with nothing to show for it, but a couple of stellar Bush and Kerry jokes and a mild case of carpal tunnel. Where has the last ten years of my life gone? My family raised me better than this!

As of today – I’m on the wagon! I’m quitting cold turkey. I’m turning over a new leaf. I’m writing only in bad recovery cliches!

As of today – I’m going to toss my hair back, smile coyly and say, “I don’t know, I’m not very political. Have you heard the latest score for {insert sports team name here}? Isn’t Britney Aguilera wonderful? Look, I’m knitting this fantastic sweater.”

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