A report out this week says that the Atkins low carb diet can put you in a bad mood.
Hmm…being thin and bitchy ”” there’s news.

This week president Bush announced that wants to crack down on prescription drug abuse. Conservative Republicans are outraged…or maybe just Rush Limbaugh.

In Crawford Texas, residents are boycotting Girl Scout cookies because of the ”˜cozy relationship Girl Scouts have with birth control advocate Planned Parenthood. The woman spearheading the boycott told reporters,”We want our girls to get pregnant ”” the way God intended ”” with out the use of thin mints.”

NBC’s Katie Couric is to interview serial plagiarizer former New York Times reporter Jayson Blair. Blair is on a media book tour promoting his new book titled,”The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.”

“Drunken Polish Nun Crashes her Tractor” Real headline from Reuters. Drunken Polish nun on a tractor. The jokes already there. Drunken Polish Nun on a tractor.

This week the New York Times reported that the Manhattan Zoo has two gay penguins. After closer inspection, it was discovered they were just cater waiters.

William Hung ”” American Idol loser phenom has been offered a 25 thousand dollar recording contract along with a special appearance on a new Fox special. Causing everyone that can actually carry a note ”” to hate him. My waitress put it best,”Huh!! I went to fucking Julliard!!!”