This election has polarized my inbox. I receive emails to alert me that Bush is evil. I also receive emails to alert me that Kerry is a flip-flopper. Bush is a moron, Kerry is a Yale snob. Bush is a deserter, Kerry lied about his war record. Back and forth and back and forth.

My Republican grandparents currently live in Texas. Being a Texan makes you automatically love Bush, because Texans love everything Texan. And if you’re not a Texan, well no one is perfect. In short, these two REALLY love Dubya. My grandparents’ conservative leanings have been the ‘elephant in the living room’ among the family. It’s the double entendre no one wants to talk about. Well, we try not to.

My grandmother sent me some more anti-Kerry propaganda yesterday. When I checked my email, I witnessed all the national mud slinging taking place in my own spam strewn inbox. It was all too much. Before I thought it through I hit “reply”.

Dear Grama, I would vote for a liberal hamster before I voted for Bush, Lots of love, Tina

And she replied:

Dear Tina, That is what I call close-minded. Love, your grandmother.

It happened! Right in the middle of my family. I said something definitively left leaning and the right retorted with a curt sound bite intended to make my pre-existing liberal guilt get the better of me. I felt like the sacrificial Democrat on Fox News. Squirm – you latte drinker – squirm!

“I’m not close-minded – not believing in evolution or a president ever making a mistake is close-minded.” Is what I wanted to say.

What I actually said was,” Dear Grama, I’m sorry for my last email. I don’t know what I was thinking. I hadn’t had my latte yet. Forgive me. Lots of love, Tina.”